By Caroline Colvin June 5, It can feel ultra delicious to have a crush. You've got a new cute person to look at and wonder about. They're a juicy tidbit you can add to the group chat. And there's all this sparkly, butterfly-inducing potential every time you interact with them.

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No matter how much the people in your life love you, very few of them are going to have the nerve to outright tell you that a relationship is wrong for you.

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What starts out as a harmless crush suddenly spirals into something much more consuming, something you feel so manically and impossibly that you think to yourself it could only be love. You could unfollow them, or take the less controversial route and mute them in the mean time. Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? And now you're stuck with feelings you really wish you didn't have.

If we were so close-minded to dismiss someone who didn't check all of our boxes, I'm pretty sure nobody would ever find love for instance, my "be Chris Pratt" box remains perilously empty. But don't get stuck dwelling on the what-if's. At first, they take the same shape. It's possible there are aspects to your crush that aren't so delicious, like the fact they're already in a ovdrcome relationship.

How to overcome infatuation

Writing this down helps. Even then, though, it is all too easy to let it happen again.

What is the difference between love, infatuation and limerence?

Try to keep in mind the benefits to remaining just friends. But for whatever reason, you might find yourself wondering how to stop thinking about your crush. And the tricky thing is, it doesn't all have to do with time — sometimes people really do fall in love quickly, and know that it's meant to be right away. Instead, just focus on the qualities that make them a great addition to your crew. The other friends, the ones who don't say it outright, will still give hints if you're looking for them.

In a secure relationship based on love and trust, you may be occasionally jealous of this closeness, but never threatened by it.

How to overcome infatuation

If you're dealing with a crush you can't shake, good luck again, coming from a serial crusher. But that blessing turns into a curse when there are people who you shouldn't be checking up on — exes, haters, et cetera — for your own sake.

Take test to see if you are infatuated

It is here that the infatuation is most likely to leak out, even if you haven't come to terms with it yet. There's no need to turn to hate or negativity, but consider qualities in the other person that might not make them the best partner for you. They're a juicy tidbit you infatuationn add to the group chat. You are not being genuine in the relationship, and if they love you, they love something you have molded to fit them. By Emma Lord Dec.

You may not acknowledge these behaviors consciously, but you'll find yourself digging at them, bringing the person up more often, unconsciously trying to gage their overcoje and trying to get some kind of answer from them that aligns with the way you think you feel. The truth is, infatuation is like a shadow of love.

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You acknowledge that you are an important part of their life, but not the only part. In a sense, it is harder to get over infatjation crush you've been obsessing over rather than someone you've dated and with whom the relationship has run its course. I know you want to look at your crush's cute lil face and check out what they're up to and daydream about being together. In the end, they will either infstuation up lying to you to make you happy, or telling you the truth and making you upset — in the end, nobody infatuatiob be satisfied.

But when the very basic and fair things that you want in a relationship — to be able to express yourself, to feel safe, to share a belief or a world view — are cast to the wind to accommodate the object of your affection, you are compromising too much of yourself to call it love.

How to overcome infatuation

But more often than not, people think they've fallen in love quicklyand are eventually left to deal with the consequences of pursuing an infatuation as if it is love. By Caroline Colvin June 5, It can feel ultra delicious to have a crush. It might be hard on the front end, but the more mindful you are of interactions with infatuatjon, the easier it will be long-term.

Take the romance out of your interactions. You talk about them with almost a need to overcomee that they exist; you might over-exaggerate the details of your relationship, or how they regard you.

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Check out our new podcast, I Want It That Way, which delves into the difficult and downright dirty parts of a relationship, and find more ofercome our Soundcloud. It's a fact of life, and in a healthy relationship, those decisions are made with trust and time and sensitivity.

How to overcome infatuation

A gift, truly! And if you're up for it, you're probably a good fit for the task.

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This is what people write songs about, what legends are made of, why infatuaton fight and cry and scheme — at least, that's how it feels at the time. As Masini has said, "It's too easy to become an amateur stalker It will be your first impulse to be angry with them. I'm speaking as a Libra, aka a serial crusher.